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Are you Equally Yoked?

Singles Ministry Series - Are you Equally Yoked?

When choosing a mate make sure you both are compatible

Are you Equally Yoked?

Read about 7 areas that should be discussed during courtship

"Equally yoked" is a phrase that is consistent in Christian circles in respect to marriage or male/female relationships. Second Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers." I want to give you a list of the major compatibilities a believer should find out during the initial stages of a courtship. Yes, I said in the initial stages.

Why would you want to fall in love with someone before you know your compatibilities? This is why we have so many people getting married and finding out later that they really made a mistake. Once you fall in love or when sex enters a relationship before marriage, you being to overlook or accept things you normally wouldn't. And because you didn't set proper boundaries, you opened the door to future disappointment.

Major Compatibilities

Are both of you believers of the same denomination or doctrinal background?

If both of you are committed to God, you need to find out exactly what that means. For example, one may want to tithe and the other one doesn't. One person may believe in going to church and the other one things they don't need to go to church, etc. These things become major areas of contention after marriage.

Where will you go to church?

If you are a man, you need to take your position as it relates to your choice in a home church. If you are a woman and you don't want to follow his leadership, don't marry him and then expect him to change.

What is your understanding of what the Bible says about a husband-and-wife- relationship according to Ephesians5:21-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-12?

Both must have a clear understanding of the roles of a husband and a wife.

Will you submit to pre-marital counseling?

Proverbs 20:18 says, "Plans are established by counsel." This will give you a clue as to how submitted the person is to God.

How many children do you have? Do you want more children? If so, how many do you want?

Don't settle for something that you're really not prepared for. Stick to what you really want in life. If you don't, I can guarantee you'll be sorry.

How much debt are you in? (IRS, child support, etc.)

Of course money is always an issue when it comes to marriage and you have a right to know what you are getting yourself into. Why marry into pressure that you are not equipped or ready to handle?

Do you know his or her vision and or mission in life?

If you are a woman, and he doesn't know where he is going, why would you want to marry someone who has no direction and no place to go? If you are a man and she doesn't have a vision for her life, she probably is not satisfied with who she is and will marry you for all the wrong reasons. Both of you may have a vision/mission but be going in different directions, and knowledge of that is pertinent to your destiny.

By Pastor Foy Marlin, Sr.